:P :P :P :P

This is probably(yea,not prolly....)the most overdue artice....i was supposed post it about 2 months back....OH!!!I FORGOT TO SAY HI!!!!but coming to think of it...U CAME TO THIS PAGE,where i post articles,so YOU should say hi(please leave a comment below before reading further....)

so as the title reads,this is an article about my favouritest favourite emoticon :P
and yea...i firmly beleive emoticons are cool..actually,the only way to make the word "EMO" cool is to add "TICON" in the end.... :P

almost all of us(even the nerds who refrained from using facebook/gtalk/yahoo etcetera etcetera during exams and joined facebook just a week or so back)know the basic emoticons- :) :( :'( :P and the really enterprising ones learn O.o as well.but i have noticed over my extensive fchat experience that :P somehow is the most frequently used.....so completely vella that i am,i began OPERATION INTROSPECT FOR EMO.....but then i found myself completely blank...until i renamed it to OPERATION INTROSPECT FOR EMOTICON( NO PUN INTENDED....i had to say this for the duds)...

without further ado...here are my findings( i feel very RUTHERFORDISH writing my findings of an experiment.....whatchu lookin' at???? :P)

• Its an argument winner....no matter how strong the other persons argument is...just write :P and wait for the irritated response of the "loser" who just lost.....
• It gives me a sudden high,a feeling like-"f u man!!! i dont know why but i am better than thou :p :p :p :p :p"
• Its the only emoticon that makes sense even when typed more than once....while :) :) :) or :( :( :( makes no sense...just the one was enough.....:p :p :p: p is like the superlative degree of :p
• THE most important reason-you look around yourself and you see people smiling(err...not many),sad and crying(a lot) but how often do u see people sticking their tongue out?????how often can you stick your tongue out in a conversation????? its like this feeling that "i am free i can stick my tongue out at you whenever i want and you can do nothing about it :p :p :p :p :p :P TAKE THAT BIATCH :P :P :P :P :P) "
• F U RUTHERFORD,I GOT 5 POSTULATES WHILE YOU HAD JUST 3 :P :P :P :P :P

so that's kinda it...if u now regret visiting my page and think how you have mercilessly murdered your past 5 minutes for complete junk,dont worry....its a usual symptom......

BUT STILL AS IS CUSTOMARY-LEAVE UR RESPONSES IN THE COMMENTS BELOW AS TO WHY YOU FIND :P THE BEST EMOTICON!!!!!!!!!

IS THE IPHONE DEAD YET?????

Hey! as the pics above show,i just got the new google nexus one mobile phone....more like a dream come true.I knew that once i am done with the iitjee,i would be getting a new phone.and since watching vids about sexy new phones with cutting edge technologies is way more interesting that alcohol+acid=ester,i spent a lot of time on youtube watching comparisons and video reviews.there was always one question at the bac of every one who reviewed a smartphone-IS THE IPHONE DEAD YET????? coz every smartphone that came since steve blowjobs launched the iphone was said to be an iphone killer :P

i dont have an iphone but i do have an ipod touch 3g,which is exactly the same except the fact that i cant make calls or sms.so now that i have used both of them,i decided to post a comparitive analysis of my own.

A)FORGET THE FEATURES...I JUST WANT A SEXY PHONE-

as far as the looks of the phones are considered,there is no denying the fact that the half eaten apple at the back almost finishes it.....its like this conversation ender.......like "ghar ka bada beta" in all hindi movies of the 90's............the nexus one is a pretty good looking phone and the trackball glows in a colour of your choice(i've set it on a light seal colour).while the iphone is a scratch magnet with its steel,the nexus one has a nice matte finish to it,and its gray(one of my fav colours).

IPHONE KICKED N1 ASS

B)HOW DOES IT FEEL WHEN U HOLD IT?????

i dont know about the weights of the iphone or the N1(nexus one),but the nexus one feels a lot more solid in the hand than the iphone.i could point out no reason for this,but the iphone slightly feels like the chinese version of the N1(this is an exaggeration)

N1 KICKED IPHONE ASS

C)THE DISPLAY(we are getting to the features)-

simply NO COMPARISON.this is prolly the most repetitive point in any review of the N1,it is the only phone in the market presently available that has an AMOLED screen.......i dont know the details but i'll tell u what,if u wanna feel the difference between and LCD and an AMOLED,just go to the TV set in ur house,go to display settings,INCREASE "COLOUR" AND "CONTRAST" while SLIGHTLY DECRESE BRIGHTNESS.nexus one is way more "real"

N1 KICKED IPHONE ASS

D)BUTTONS-

most people have this button fetish,they feel helpless without physical buttons....this was the primary reason why i bought the PSP eventhough i had the ipod touch which has an accelerometer(it means that if u r playing a racing game,just turn the ipod to left to make the car turn left).the N1 offers 4 buttons(though capacitive) but they work like a charm.the iphone just offers volume buttons(which N1 has too).the trackball of the N1 is just a waste of the space.

N1 KICKED IPHONE ASS(again :P)

E)USER INTERFACE(the way the stuff in the phone is arranged/looks)-

the iphone just has all the apps put together on infinite screens.but the N1 has 4 screens for imp apps and a menu format for the rest like any nokia/ericcsson phone.u tend to get bored of the iphone's interface after some time.but then N1 has only 4 screes,for ppl with a lot of apps,N1 sucks.

ITS A DRAW

F)TOUCH EXPERINCE+BROWSER-

both are pretty much identical.while the iphone browser is slightly better looking,the N1 browser is significantly quicker.

ITS A DRAW

G)APPS-appstore of apple might be having over a million apps,but they are all prettymuch useless.i actually found just about 11 apps worth keeping in the past 4 months i have had the ipod touch.while the N1 apps are lesser but completely out of the box,stuff like barcode scanners and google goggles are simply shocking.plus the VOICE SEARCH is killer.and yea,IT WORKS WITH INDIAN ACCENT TOO.......SPEECH TO TEXT FOR MESSAGING is extremely usefull.

N1 KICKED YOU KNOW WHO'S ASS

H)FACEBOOK-really important stuff.......ipod's app is kinda better,since it allows chatting.

but if u get an IM app like ebuddy,both are at par.still,for the heck of it-

IPHONE NUDGED N1 ASS

I)MUSIC EXPERIENCE-

ok here's the deal,when i talk about music,i dont really care if the music player is good looking or not.the earphones supplied with N1 are far better than the iphone earphones.when i used a third earphone for both of them(samsung)-the iphone gave clearer bass notes and more treble,while the N1 player gave an excellent sound to the drums and all instruments sounded mingled into one another.the orchestra sounded more solid in the N1(analysed using FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS BY METALLICA)......they both were awesome-

IPHONE FOR HIP HOP OR ACOUSTIC,N1 FOR METAL OR HARD ROCK

J)FLASH PLAYER-

just N1 has it :p :p :p :p

N1 KICKED IPHONE'S CHROME PLATED ASS

K)ANDROID VS IPHONE OS 3.0-

N1 is the undisputed winner,to give u the reason i will have to create a new post :p

N1 KICKED IPHONE YOU KNOW WHERE

FINAL VERDICT

as u can see from above ITS NEXUS=5 AND IPHONE=2 OUT OF 11

nexus one clearly dominates..........

IPHONE 3G IS DEAD PEOPLE WE NO LONGER NEED AN IPHONE KILLER AND U KNOW WHAT?IF THE PROTOTYPE OF IPHONE 4G LEAKED BY GIZMODO IS CORRECT,APPLE REALLY DEPENDS COMPLETELY DEPENDS UPON THEIR NAME AND STEVE BLOWJOBS' MARKETING TO SURVIVE IN THE COMPETETIVE MARKET AGAINST DEVICES LIKE N1,HTC DESIRE,MOTOROLA DROID AND WHAT NOT!!!!!!!!!!

X AND Y-THE INVARIABLE VARIABLES.....

PHEW!!!! finally done with the intense and mushy stuff in the past two posts,i now get back to what i like doing-BLABBER RANDOMLY ABOUT SOMETHING USELESS......

today i was giving the 2009 paper of aieee,as a mock test just to get the hang of what aieee is....which if u dont know is day after tommorrow.so while solving the math paper,i was suddenly struck by something,I WAS ACTUALLY STUCK IN A QUESTION COZ I COULDNT TAKE X AND Y,as they were defined points,so i had to assume the variables as a and b........this sounds pretty lame and just for the record i did end up solving it :p but yea,i WAS UNCOMFORTABLE.

so why is it that the variables are invariably x and y....never a and b or l and m or p and q.....unless we have no other option.....though i know thats just coz we have been using and seeing them in books since class 6 algebra when we were taught that like terms can be added and unlike cannot(x and x^2 cannot be added)...but...........THAT SEEMS BORING....so i decided to post some really ridiculous reasons for why i preffer x,y AND WHY IS X EVEN BETTER THAN Y......

A) THE X,Y TEAM VS THE REST OF ALPHABETS-

• P and q are particularly difficult to write fast
• a in small letters ends up looking like o for a person like me who writes really fast
• b is again difficult to write
• l and m-i couldnt think of anything,so lets just settle at-"ISHWAR KI MAYA KAHIN DHOOP KAHIN CHHAYA"

B)X VS Y(THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN....mortal combat song in background)

• y has a tail which juts into the next line,leaving lesser room to write in it
• especially in fractions,the y in frickin numerator just leaves no space for the denominator.....i always dislike and try to convert the question into x
• the great guy who invented the english language,intended to do so....how can i,a puny school student doing algebra mess up his work?????????

i guess thats it,but please leave your interesting and creative responses BELOW......i'd love to know your reasons for the "X,Y FIXATION"....

MY LADY'S HAND TO KISS....

COMRADES,just like any other teenager(now even an adult :P UNLIKE YOU)

i have had girl-boy issues too....and yea i too plunged into the world of romantic music to.....uhh... I DON'T KNOW....THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE DOES WHEN THEY HAVE ISSUES......

One of my favourite bands during such times has been dire straits,just for one man-MARK KNOPFLER, legendary guitarist and singer.......his smooth voice somehow always manages to rescue my masculinity after being turned down time and again.......hehe...just kidding.....

so there's this awesome song called " A Summer Night Long Ago" from the album "Golden heart". i particularly love the lyrics in a very EMO GIRLY kinda way.....just made that up,but i guess u must have known one,so you can catch my drift here :)

i was just reading the lyrics of the original song,and knopfler being british,his lyrics are still slightly inspired from the works of jane austen and other pride and prejudice kinda stories-BASICALLY,IT TAKES TIME FOR ME TO GET A HANG OF THE SONG.......

i started jumbling up words and sentences to make sense.....i ultimately ended up changing the order of the lines,changing a few words to finally get something that made perfect sense to me!!!

and i decided to post it here,just to prove that guys can do mushy stuff too.....ITS NOT THAT WE ARE GENETICALLY DEVOID OF EMOTIONS,ITS JUST THAT WE ARE PRETTY MISERLY IN SHOWING THEM.ITS JUST SOMETHING WE HAVE PICKED FROM ONE GENERATION TO ANOTHER ;)

So here's what i did to the stuff stolen from the musical quiver of a great musician-

MY LADY’S HAND TO KISS

-stolen and modified beyond repair by spandan madan

My Lady may I know your name?

My lady may I have this dance?

You danced in this soldier’s arm,

And when you smiled you did me harm,

I felt the blade of love so keen,

And I was drawn to you,my queen

Now there is no knight I will not kill,

To have my lady’s hand to kiss,

That summer night long long ago,my love,

Is what I still miss…….

MY UNNAMED FEELING......

Most people who barely even know me,know that I am a die hard metfan.though debatable,most people know that metallica is one of the biggest metal band ever.but here in india,people are not into metal music and even those who are somehow manage to hate metallica for some reason or the other.i have been asked many times why I love it so much(I almost worship their music).so I finally decided to write a blogpost…..here it is :P

I,unlike most people,who tend to look for good music or meaningful lyrics(or both if their really choosy),I on the other hand,try to associate the songs I listen with particular emotions or events(Which basically are pointers for emotions)….its almost like a tagging kinda system with me.when I am really fucked up,I even resort to music like those of celine dion or deana carter.when in a peppy mood,I go in for joe satriani or eddie van halen.

We all know,as we grow up,we go through periods of different pre-dominant emotions in our life.i started listening metal when I was 6(yea I know my ears are prolly damaged beyond repair by now),and quite understandably back then the only emotion I could feel strongly enough was excitement and the enjoyment rooting from noise-i.e. I spent hours on as I lay dying,arch enemy and other senseless growling waale songs.the guitars SEEMED fast and difficult to play(they are the easiest songs ever) and that kinda high was enough to satiate me.as I grew up and started err…..staring at chicks,I guess…..and started associating with the “BOY-GIRL” stuff,I entered the world of scorpions and dire straits.bryan adams was lurking somewhere around the corner too.

Cutting long story short,when I entered the “vmc phase” of my life,that is preparing for iitjee,most people never understood my way of approaching life.i agree that iit was and is a major motivation to study,but I only studied wht I found interesting and scored well in that part,leaving out the rest.i always treated studies just like my music or anyother thing in life that is important to me-BUT NOT SOMETHING MY LIFE REVOLVES AROUND.i think that my life revolves around spontaneity and fun.i am fidgety and unpredictable.but my parents obviously wouldn’t agree to this completely(their parents……they tend to do weird stuff…….).so all that I could do was sit on my table and listen to music or watch movie…….hehe…….

This is where comes in the purest emotion…..ANGER.beleive or not,rage is the only emotion which can and does exist independently,u need not be jelous or fear something to be angry.you can be simply angry-at least I can be.i am angry with the society for the way they have made education in our country,I am angry with the way we have to choose an engeneering in the beginning of college eventhough all that we know about computers vs mechanical is-COMPUTER KI DEMAND ZAADA HAI……THAT’S NOT HOW WE FUCKING MAKE ENGENEERS....THATS NOT HOW WE FUCKING MAKE STUDENTS.i am angry with a lot of different things,for a lot of different reasons......

After two years in this prison,having stared at the dead,expressionless,emotionless faces of iit rank 1 and rank 2 for 2 years,the predominant emotion in me is rage.rage fuels me now,and this is where metallica comes in.WHEN I FEEL ENRAGED AND ALL I CAN THINK IS “FUCK IT ALL”,IS WHEN I SEE THEIR LEAD MAN JAMES HETFIELD,SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF HIS MASCULINE VOICE-“FUCK U ALL,I AM GONNA DO WHAT I WANT TO,WHAT I THINK I SHOULD NOT WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO……..”

One of their albums called ST.ANGER was released back in 2004 when metallica was going through its bleakest phase as a band(not commercially)…..they hadn’t released an album in 5 years,no stage shows since 3 years and their relations were at an all time low.james,the frontman was struggling with problems like “alcohol and other undisclosed addictions”-to quote the man himself.their long time bassist,Jason newstead had just left-he just fled off what he thought was a “SINKING SHIP”…….

James hetfield spent over year and a half in rehab,where as he said-“these people don’t just stop the surface,they go in deep,really deep…..until there is nothing much left in you and you have no other option but to re-explore and restart your life as a new person….which is exactly what an arrogant and stuck up person like me needed” .For this album,they hired a war bunker at the presidio in san Francisco to rediscover themselves just like they had,back in 1981 when there’s was just another garage band.arrogant and egotistical as they were,they came in to the presidio without a single riff(a guitar piece) or any basic skeleton for the songs or the album.they sat there without any professional equipment except their guitars,drums and very basic recording instrument….no effects…..pure music…. FUELED WITH ANGER…..

As there was no equipment to really edit the music,the drums,which are naturally louder,sound a lot different in this album.this is a really rough around the edges kinda album,just how I love it-more like “fresh from the oven”,no producer or sound artists to mess it up and make it sound like what “people” wanna listen to…..it was what they wanted us to hear,not the other way round.

the drums are loud,and u can actually here the noise of the drumsticks hitting the snares(a drum component) and the screeching sound of the pick,scratching against the electric guitar strings.its like a concert but with retakes-PURE METAL.

The lyrics written by james,who in that period was just looking for somewhere to vent out his anger.he used this album for that purpose,he actually uses the words “flush it out” in 2 diff songs.this is the only album in which they did NOT omit the F-words.and it totally adds to the feel of the album(don’t even try to say that using the word to feel light inside is an immature concept).the album is RAGE,RAGE AND RAGE.the fast and hard music riffs,drumsticks hitting hard on the snare’s tight taught,membranes.....guitarists playing so hard that there hands start aching and james shouting at the top of his voice in the studio,every fucking word that he wants to say,makes this album an invincible legend in my heart and mind.I have learnt in these years that is very important to tap ur anger to be successful.

To top it all,when I hear metallica,I feel that there isn’t just rage,there is hope that they will come out of the shit they have put themselves in.it is this perfect combination of anger and hope….IT IS THIS UNNAMED FEELING….that according to me,makes metallica my favourite band,which would be an extreme understatement.i have heard many other band like slayer,children of bodom,cradle of filth,opeth,ac dc and a really long list,BUT NONE OF THEM HAVE THIS INFINITE AMOUNT OF ENERGY OR THE HOPE,AS MENTIONED ABOVE.

To conclude,I would like to say,that its not the best guitarist,drummer or the vocalist that makes the best band.its the combined effort.its how they feel about themselves and other band members.coz if that was the case my friend,there would be nothing like improvement,it will be a world ruled by talent,and even if it was true,in a world full of averages,with just one “best”,this would be a minority opinion and thus,strongly put down.

I eat,drink and sleep metallica,I feel their music rushing through my veins,and I could make you feel even a fraction of what I feel for them,I am pretty sure u would soon be downloading their music.

This is the part where I sign off.this certainly is not one of my funniest post,but believe me,it certainly is one of my most heart felt article.the one that I can relate the most to my life.SO,DON’T JUST WASTE YOUR RAGE,USE IT FOR YOUR OWN GOOD……….

Phew!!!! Intense(MY FEEL KILLER SENTENCE)……Cant help it…..gotta end it on a light note :P

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WHAT DOES AN IITJEE ASPIRANT ASK RAMDEV-"BABA,IS HELL EXOTHERMIC OR ENDOTHERMIC????"

Though this is not something i wrote,its something so awesome,i just have to mention is here......i found this while searching the net looking for awesome T shirt quotes that are kinda adult and really funny but just over the line so i cant really get them written on my shirt,unless i wanna be thrown out of the house.......yea i know....i do a lot of weird shit while i should be studying.....but hey!!!!THE TITLE ABOVE IS ORIGINAL(so much for modesty).

so,without boring you further with the intro(oops!!! i just did it again....) here's the excerpt(YENJOY!!!!)-

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased...

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student received the only A.